Author Archives: Fkavaya

The digital notion Has really affected the relationship between parents and children.This happens when the parents and children are so much burried into their phones and so they don’t get or have or create time for bonding and knowing about how their days went and discussing either of their feeling.

Also children see certain western characters on the internet and movies and want to exercise which causes conflict with the parents.for example, children might watch some scenes in the internet that encourage disrespect to the parents and they practice it on their parents which might automatically cause distance between the parents and the children.

or some children might fear their parents because of what they see other parents do on the internet to their children since they fear that the same thing might happen to them hence the parents have an extra work to ensure this doesn’t happen by being free with the children to be trusted by their children to tell them these things without fear of judgement.

The society plays a very big role in parent children relationship.there are certain beliefs set by our norms,cultures and the society at large that dictate how children should see their parents or how they should behave around their parents and vice versa.These norms for example might contradict due to intermarriage between the communities.For example,one community might say one thing is bad while another might be allowing it and the society expects the parents and the children especially to follow both beliefs leaving the children confused.

Another instant might be when parents teach their children to follow the norms but in a different way or the parents don’t follow or believe in cultural beliefs or religion hence what a parent might tell a child to do might be against the society which a child has been exposed to in different occasions hence if the child refuses to do what he or she is told by the parent thereby causing conflict.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”This is a verse that means, in as much as we expect parents to respect the children and don’t assault them, children should also respect their parents in the same way .

Yes, Fathers rape their daughters and mothers assault their sons but also these children for example daughters also seduce their fathers and don’t respect them,and in as much as some of us will say it all begins with the parents and what they teach them,these children also expose themselves to bad things and bad company which catalyses the behaviour and hence they find no issue in practicing the same.

Some sons also learn alot from the society and come to corner their mothers with the statement that women should respect the men just because he is circumcised and is now a man or just because he is working and has connections so he can get what ever he needs from the mother not forgetting that this woman he is harassing is his own mother who gave life to him.

Some children also face this challenge because they don’t like correction,hence if they are corrected they think their parents hate them and they start hating on the parents thinking they are hating back.some also fight their parents either verbally or physically because maybe they are fighting something inside them which they come to take it out on their parents because they can’t talk for some reason.

Parents should understand that children are humans and are trying to experience,explore and understand why and how things work the way they work in the world and around them.With this,they should therefore understand that they want to live every stage well and should be allowed to make every mistake they make so that they understand because there’s no teacher like experience.

These children should be allowed to make their own decisions and with that good parent children relationship,they can share the decision with their parents. This does not state that parents should leave their children alone totally but they should involve themselves by advising the children only and not forcing decisions on the children.

They should also understand the difference between putting slight pressure and forcing because it is in this mistakes that these children are able to learn.

This also applies to children who are grown and would like to make their partner decisions,some parents even chose partners for their children even if they don’t want to be chosen for,some also are in fact in marriage,their parents come to their houses and meddle in their issues even making decisions for them in their own marrital homes.

The Bible says ,you might beat the hell out of a child but you can never beat the stupidity out of the child’s head .but the Bible also says spare the rod and spoil the child.

This two statement might look related but they are never the same in meaning wanna know why? Ok.the first statement means you shouldn’t beat the child especially with an aim of removing a certain thinking or behaviour or character out of the child’s head or life,this will just be making your child more scared of you than respectful.

As a parent, one should just just use conversation method to be able to understand why the child did a certain thing and why they thought it is wrong.

The second statement means ,a little caining to the child as a parent is not bad but where it is needed but also explain to the kid why you Caned him or her so that he or she will not repeat the mistake made or will remember that it is wrong because of this and that but if you came the child and don’t tell him or her why you did it,he or she will not get what he or she is supposed to correct so they will just make mistakes thinking it is the right thing and yet it is the mistake and the cycle will go on until they get used to the canes and don’t feel nothing no more while you as a parent think you did the best thing but the child is the problem.

Fathers are one of the first people to tell or show their daughters what they should do and how they should relate to other men out there since the children are taught not to trust men out there because the world is brutal and men will not be considering their feelings when hurting them.This lessons and encouragement will give these daughters the wings to achieve what they want in life.

Some fathers don’t create this image to their daughters at all I don’t know how this could happen but imagine a father who gave life to this child or girl then comes back to seduce or sexually harass the daughter and mind you she is her daughter,his own flesh and blood, Some of them even end up raping these girls, considering the fact that this girl has really trusted the father and expects to respect him in every way,get a boyfriend one day, marry the guy and even respect him as the father of his children. Leave alone the husband,even the boss at her place of work…how is she going to be able to do this…it’s not her fault but it’s really hard for her to be able to do this. So many girls do go through this today but can’t even talk to anyone because they don’t even trust noone around them especially because some mothers ignore the fact that this kind of thing can happen to their daughters. Fathers should respect their daughters as much as they expect them to respect them.

Mothers are believed to have a closer relationship with their children compared to father’s since they spend most of the time with them.

Although,mothers seem to be more strict with their children compared to the fathers because they “understand” their children’s situation more.Now the real question is do they?

Parents specifically mother’s don’t understand what goes on with their children because their children are in a different era and are in a different situation compared to what they went through.

Mother’s should create a platform or that environment where they can be free with their children and can be able to share opinions with their children.thatway they will understand what goes on in and around their children’s mind and lives instead of being all strict and angry at their children because they explored the world in their own way.

Parent children relationship begins when the child is still in the mother’s womb. Then is when they make a connection with each other and bond so much.

The bond or relationship gets stronger when the child is out of the womb. But then the question remains, will the bond get stronger when the child starts exploring the world and understanding how things work?.Will the child be able to trust the parent and why? And will the parent also be able to trust the child in the arms of the world?

Parent children relationship is different depending on several factors one being how the parent treats the child,the exposure of the child to the several things that happen in the world,fear of the child to the parent because of the environment they share with the parent,Lack of trust between the parents and the children among others.What most parents don’t understand is that it takes alot to understand your children and what children don’t get is that parents love them but they have to let them into their lives to help them.